
Είναι ωραίο ν’ ακούς / διαβάζεις αλήθειες.
Φυσικά, ο Bill τα λέει καλύτερα απ’ τον καθ’ ένα. Κάθε λέξη έχει νόημα. Βαρύτητα. Σημασία.
Enjoy:
“There’s too many fucking people in the world. Someone needs to say that by the way. Tired of this, “Hey hey aren’t we the coolest? Humans are so neat.”
Too many of yer. Quit rutting, just for a fucking day. Let’s work out this food/air deal. Then go back to your rutting. But I’ll tell you this. Where’s this idea that childbirth is a miracle came from? Ha, I missed that fucking meeting, okay?
“It’s a miracle, childbirth is a miracle.” No it’s not. No more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. It’s a chemical reaction, that’s all it fucking is. If, you you wanna know what a miracle is: raisin’ a kid that doesn’t talk in a movie theatre. Okay, there, there, there is a goddam miracle. It’s not a miracle if every nine months any yin yang in the world can drop a litter of mewling cabbages on our planet.
And just in case you haven’t seen the single mom statistics lately, the miracle is spreading like wild-fire. “Hallelujah!” Trailer parks and council flats all over the world just filling up with little miracles. Thunk, thunk, thunk, like frogs laying eggs.
“Thunk, look at all my little miracles, thunk, filling up my trailer like a sardine can. Thunk. You know what would be a real miracle, if I could remember your daddy’s name, aargh, thunk. I guess I’ll have to call you Lorry Driver Junior. Thunk. That’s all I remember about your daddy was his fuzzy little pot-belly riding on top of me shooting his caffeine ridden semen into my belly to produce my little water-headed miracle baby, urgh. There’s your brother, Pizza Boy Delivery Junior.”
“Hallelujah!” Hold on for a minute, let’s figure out this food/air deal okay? Okay. I’m just weird, you know? How about have a neat world for kids to come to? Ha ha okay it’s me, fuck it. Drop ‘em like fucking flies, boom, just fill up the world with em. I just don’t get it you know, I mean I’m sorry man, you know kids are fine, just keep em away from me. Alright there, alright.
Now get this, I’ve been travelling all over the country on British Air. No smoking on British Air. Now let me get this straight: no smoking right but they allow children. Little fairness, huh?
“Well smoking bothers me.” Well guess what…
I was on this one flight right, I’m flying, I’m sleeping on the plane, I’m fucking “knackered”. Very tired right? and I feel this tapping on my head. And I look up and there’s this little kid – loose! on the fucking plane, he’s just loose. It’s his playground in the sky. And he has decided that his job is to repetitively tap me on the top of the head. I look across the aisle at his mom. She’s just smiling, you know. Guy next to the mom goes, “They’re so cute when they’re that small.”
Isn’t that amazing, letting your kid run loose on a fucking plane. And then the kid runs over to the emergency exit and he starts flipping that handle to the door. And the guy next to the mom starts to get up, and I go, “Wait a minute… we’re about to learn an important lesson right here.”
Kwoooshh.
Why you’re right, the smaller he gets, the cuter he is.
God, I wish I had a camera right now.
With a telescopic lens.
Like to get a picture of his face when his pudgy little legs hit that farmhouse down there.
Aah, aah, kids. Ha ha.
Stewardess, since we got a breeze in here can we smoke now? It’s fairly well circulated at this point. Woosh.”
famous last words