Ο Ριτζ κι εμείς « Attack Of The Quasars

Ο Ριτζ κι εμείς

Ιουνίου 2, 2008 — 50ft queenie

Ron Moss aka Ridge Forrester. Τον ξέρεις. Τον ξέρω. Το ξέρω ότι τον ξέρεις. Από το 1987 είναι στην οθόνη σου. Τον ερωτεύτηκε κρυφά η γιαγιά και η θεία σου.

Παραθέτω τα ευαίσθητα προσωπικά του δεδομένα:

Past Marriages

* Caroline Spencer (deceased)
* Taylor Hamilton (divorced; first time)
* Brooke Logan (invalid; first time)
* Brooke Logan (annulled; second time)
* Taylor Hamilton (annulled 31 January 2006; second time)
* Brooke Logan (2003; invalid; third time)
* Brooke Logan (2004; invalid; fourth time)
* Taylor Hamilton (2005; vow renewal)

Flings & Affairs

* Morgan DeWitt
* Alex Simpson
* Brooke Logan
* Taylor Hamilton
* Rhonda (Bikini club waitress)
* Lauren Fenmore
* Morgan DeWitt (adulterous; one-night stand)
* Brooke Logan (2006; he unintentionally raped her)

Crimes Committed

* Took the blame for attempted murder of Grant Chambers

* Assaulted Ambrosia Moore

Εδώ θα κάνω μια παύση για να αναρωτηθώ… Τι είναι unintentional rape?; (Ο Βασίλης απαντάει: “Μήπως είναι όταν πας να βιάσεις μια, και τελικά καταλήγεις να βιάζεις τη φίλη της;;” Nice shot!)

Και το αιώνιο ερώτημα… Την Μπρουκ ή την Καρολάιν; Τελικά έκανε την έκπληξη και προτίμησε την Τέιλορ… Χρουμφ!

Το ποστ δεν είναι τίποτα παραπάνω από την έκφραση του θαυμασμού μου γι’ αυτόν τον γίγαντα της σαπουνόπερας.

Γουί λόβ γιου!

Αναρτήθηκε στις προσωπικές παράνοιες. 10 σχόλια »

Ντισκλέιμερ! (Άι χαζ ιτ!)

Το παρόν blog δεν έχει διάθεση ενημερωτική κι εγώ δεν θέλω να γίνω δημοσιογράφος στη θέση του δημοσιογράφου. Διατηρώ το δικαίωμά μου να εκφράζω τις υποκειμενικές μου απόψεις με τον τρόπο που μου αρέσει. Αν δεν σας αρέσει, πηγαίντε στο δίπλα μαγαζί. Γεμάτος ο τόπος από δαύτα είναι. Αναδημοσιεύστε ελεύθερα (αν βρείτε τίποτα της προκοπής) και διαβάστε ασύστολα (αν μπορέσετε να κρατήσετε τα μάτια σας ανοιχτά από τη βαρέμαρα). Αν βρείτε κάποιο λάθος ή ανακρίβεια, διορθώστε με. Γράφω γιατί δεν ξέρω πώς είναι να μην γράφω και γιατί μ' αρέσει το "τσίκιτσίκι" του πληκτρολογίου. Εντζόι.

Subject to change without notice

Fundamentalist Christianity - fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is 12 thousand years old. Swear to God. What the..? Based on what? I asked them. "Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages - 12 thousand years." Well how fucking scientific, okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble. That's good. You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? "uh huh." Dinosaurs. If you know the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point. "And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat fucking families and their fat dollar bills. And oh Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Thank you Lord." Get this, I actually asked one of these guys, OK, Dinosaurs fossils - how does that fit into you scheme of life? Let me sit down and strap in. He said, "Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." Thank God I'm strapped in right now here man. I think God put you here to test my faith, Dude. You believe that? "uh huh." Does that trouble anyone here? The idea that God.. might be.. fuckin' with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge. Some prankster God running around: "Hu hu ho. We will see who believes in me now, ha ha." [mimes God burying fossils] "I am God, I am a prankster." "I am killing Me." You know, You die and go to St. Peter... "Did you believe in dinosaurs?" "Well, yeah. There was fossils everywhere" Thuh [trapdoor opens] "Aaaaaaarhhh!" "You fuckin idiot." "Flying lizards, you're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!" "It seemed so plausible, ahhhh!" "Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!" -Bill Hicks "Revelations"

Norwegian Blue

A customer enters a pet shop. O: We're closin' for lunch. C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it? C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting. C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage! C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead. O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting! C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage)'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show... (owner hits the cage) O: There, he moved! C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage! O: I never!! C: Yes, you did! O: I never, never did anything... C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.) C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot. O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned! C: STUNNED?!? O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major. C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk. O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords. C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home? O: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage! C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there. (pause) O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee! C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised! O: No no! 'E's pining! C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! -Monty Pythons

BioLogos Says:
Ιουνίου 2, 2008 σε 14:55

Aκόμα ζει αυτός?
Τρέφεται με μυελό οστών από έμβρυα ή τον έχουν σε κρυογονικό stasis?

Απάντηση

Alex Says:
Ιουνίου 2, 2008 σε 17:32

To mono pou mas leipei einai h Ateetha Sanyata….

50ft queenie Says:
Ιουνίου 2, 2008 σε 22:54

@BioLogos: xD Πράγματι, το μόνο που έχει αλλάξει πάνω του είναι οι γκρίζοι κρόταφοι…

@Alex: Τι ‘ν’ τούτο;

Eko-Tiger Says:
Ιουνίου 5, 2008 σε 13:22

Ntropi, pos milate etsi gia otn theo bassista twn Player? (’Baby come back’, treli epityxia gia xamourema se efivika party in the 80’s). Aisxos!

50ft queenie Says:
Ιουνίου 5, 2008 σε 13:31

O.o

Ε;

Εγώ τον αγαπώ!

Rayman Says:
Ιουνίου 5, 2008 σε 14:55

egw den tha pw tipota parapanw ektos apo afto to link:
http://www.superseventies.com/1978_7singles.html

eko-tiger to singlaki, to singlaki vale!

telika tha pw. den tha ksexasw pote ti mera pou to koritsi me to poioio imoun erwtevmenos sto lykeio mou eipe pws “xtes piga mazi me ti mitera mou sto aerdormio na dou me apo konta ton Rintz”

50ft queenie Says:
Ιουνίου 5, 2008 σε 18:47

Αυτό λεω!! ΤΟΝ ΑΓΑΠΩ!

(Tον Ron Moss, εγώ από τα Ημισκούμπρια έμαθα ;D)

Επίσης, νομίζω ότι είναι πολύ δύσκολο να βρεις άντρα που να μην είχε καμία γυναίκα γύρω του που να είναι ερωτευμένη με τον Ριτζ. Αδύνατον λέμε!

(Καλώς ήρθατε στο ταπεινό σπιτικό μου btw. Λείπουνε και τα δουλικά, αλλιώς θα τους έβαζα να πλύνουν τα πόδια σας με τα δάκρυά τους και να τα στεγνώσουν με τα keyboards τους… Επιφυλάσσομαι!)

50ft queenie Says:
Ιουνίου 6, 2008 σε 00:56

Κι έτσι για να μην ξεχνιόμαστε:

“Τις ρίμες μου εγώ δεν τις δανείζω ούτε με τόκο
Ανεπρόκο, κάνε μόκο, το μικρόφωνο αρπάζω και πιάνει φόκο
Φόκο κι η καρδιά της γυναικός
Γιατί είμαι ο ανθρώπινος πυρσός
Είναι ΣΟΣ, γι’ αυτό κράτα σημειώσεις σ’ ότι λέει ο Ron Moss”

Ημισκούμπρια – “Το Υπόθετο” – Γυναικολογίες

Eko-Tiger Says:
Ιουνίου 6, 2008 σε 01:08

Nomizo oti vrika se poion tha skotoso to poster tou Ritz Forester…

50ft queenie Says:
Ιουνίου 6, 2008 σε 01:23

Σε ποιόοοοον;

Attack Of The Quasars

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